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I feel like I must be crazy but these reviews do not read like 5 star reviews. Seems super suspect.
You’re right. One specifically mentions ‘would rate this 0 if I could’ so in lieu of that option, they selected a…5?
Have they gone through and scraped the text from a bunch of real reviews and are reposting them with 5 star ratings to make them look organic?
That honestly sounds to be the likely scenario. If someone saw the review they might shrug it off as an error or mistake.