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Joined 3Y ago
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Cake day: Jun 02, 2021

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It’s all good as long as you’re always on the better side of the coin flip.


“Documentation is on discord.”

“Why can’t I join”

“We banned you after seeing what you post on social media.”




Managers like meetings because it gives them a sense of power and superiority. Employees like meetings because they don’t have to work.


Programming is self-harm that has positive outcomes.


The addition of comments makes this radioactive to the one kind of person who wouldn’t mind reading ugly code.


Also the list of attendants to the latest trump rally with online registration. Along with names like Ray Schist and Notta Baught.


C#: Time for a treasure hunt! Find the Null Reference Exception. Here’s a map. X marks the spot.


That explains why I haven’t got a response from them in over three years.

EDIT: I’ve downloaded LibreOffice. Their Pi() uses 3.14159265358979 which is an awesome number to end it on.


Openoffice does this too, and the worst part is that it will take something and interpret it as a date, but then you force it to interpret it as a number, instead of using the number you typed it will use the index number of the date which is a completely different and useless value.

In short, it takes the number you put in and converts it into a date against your will, and you can’t change it back. It would be like if you typed in “sunshine” and it interpreted that as the temperature of a sunbeam and put that in the cell instead of the fucking thing you typed. So annoying!!

Another minor gripe is how their Pi() uses enough digits that it lands on a 5 and rounds up, which breaks all sorts of sine math. If they had rounded down or added/removed a digit of pi that wouldn’t be an issue. I have to intentionally add error to my functions just so they work. On the up side I was able to provide mathematical proof that the human tendency to round up at 5 is at odds with the real world. It makes more sense to round down, though I always just add/remove a decimal point so I don’t have add arbitrary information to the system by always assuming a roundup or rounddown. If I’m forced to end at a 5, I round down, which is at odds with how people do it but it breaks less.

EDIT: come to think of it, it makes a lot of sense for 5 to be a round-down situation. If a particle has just enough energy to jump to the next state but no extra, it would be far more likely to stay in its current energy state than it would be to expend energy to make that jump. Even an infinitesimally small increase over the exact amount required to make a jump would give it that necessary kick to actually make the jump.


Man these programmers are getting unhinged. Even I can’t read this shit.



I don’t have a dick-sucking spine. Believe me, i’ve tried.


If (var.nan){var = 0} my beloved.


The funniest thing about NaNs is that they’re actually coded so you can see what caused it if you look at the binary. Only problem is; due to the nature of NaNs, that code is almost always going to resolve to “tried to perform arithmetic on a NaN”

There are also coded NaNs which are defined and sometimes useful, such as +/-INF, MAX, MIN (epsilon), and Imaginary


Biological engineering be like, only it still wouldn’t be enough stopcodes because it randomly decided to read the code backwards.


My biggest nightmare is one day you will go on to a random website and when you press “contact us” it opens an invite to a discord server.


Stay the fuck away from anything that’s organized over discord. Mod abuse and Nazis are a guarantee.


Commit is not to our standards [denies]

Good one for “off-site” backups being in the same building, for all those stories I hear of people rm-rfing their backups it’s hilariously accurate.


c/programmerhumor is going to be the place where people go to try and break fediverse clients, isn’t it?


bobby tables xkcd

I specifically had to make sure not to use code which could be interpreted in a malicious way just in case this happened.


There are one types of programmers
Those who remember to include the terminator and those who don't‹Ñ%¼ñ´ K±}¼i6ÊÿŽñͧÎ3='SØ@íÂkñIødKº^îµ$xïÀY>â9Â3›cã‹òØoÎcs<V™GW<V+­Ñµöx,”Ç9ôd ±i^d­lˆ7Ç*c ÿêq®•ÇŽXõ"ë¬ææÁøƒØ1ȾÁ•³â±Y±ºÁX­%щÕÆfY°ØLŠ¬¦-ß‹>~.ç¿„ìÅ@¯~= , Æj,iÅñqŠ-”1 æ‘åçÆz˜7ÝŽÚø^ å±çnÔÄãûñV6%êåbŸa”½‚åå!/»<ŸW½U$Òj"ô4ò}4_€uDþ "ÝŠµD¶ØvםDm€¸íFW0×`3ޏ³qºp%îÇ9؏^î¿ç²¦oãv´Ã‹Ñ%¤$ñ-Äè ¼Þz1:(o±^dzô®ôZ¼ªz”=ˆ·ñ]íµÞÎV×â=?ÐÇ»<É-[±UçµÞÁÖLZ~ÞÉVu]Œw±5‹ëñ”Ð~#W’iU³X«ipWŒÑ3â‘f'ßçyæ«ž5ókp%®ò̯ÁÕT]æ©~o z Ëù¡øâé£xßDµ)ú™öÔ6úbµ¡@­TvmIe7LTÖOe‡Qv#Cã+».PÖ8­œþ`ïDƒô)SäµRШe붂׷º·RZΟ-u/Ïã£ò½"»ä;‘ÇÇÇŠzFXäcŽ¬» 1ØE.Ì.,8ŸÀ'=xprõNšIŽˆ£ã‹—´4TìÃ}T¿úf´·D(ŸÙ‡¢Œâsûñ•Þ–èW+صµ¼OíÇ7»Ç};?(CïÝxº%ú£q]-à™­ûð³è³£x.ú_•Lµýx^êbï(þXJöOÙÍRÞzÍ ›ðš²/dwÈSB~\Æ¿Œ®—ñ¤‡ûR/†™O»‰û‹òëBæ¦—‘À—ãqæõó¸RÌÁÕcÕU}(&lý —$`ëø§Œ[ÿÂË’,lý;¨®¯àÕ€WÄØ°x&7Ùb€ÙQ6±£bbGÕ¸Ž½B¹¿À£F¯Z\˼¿Žëzœˆ¸SÜXÄ¥ .mðl$—D­˜X¶Þã“اPeèÞŠ{ Еƒ'¹Ê4/ n!áo¥o·yÚ• ù}íBnüÎ“aê\9*fNL/Þgy™Ó.èˆIITþPK]”’#
fedilink


There needs to be china consequences for people who do ddos attacks. I can promise you society would get way better as a direct result.

EDIT: China consequences like what they do with their billionaires when they get caught cooking the books.


It might seem like there’s little traffic on the site… until you say #Ukraine then all of a sudden you’re going to be deluged with some of the most unhinged liberals on this side of the internet.


The worst thing about USB is that it always takes 3 attempts on average to get the fucker in if you don’t know the orientation of the port.


That thing, you know that thing that you already buy? Here’s an ad for it! Now we get to lie and say we were the reason you bought it!

It’s so fucking weird how I got way more ads for runescape when I played runescape, and it’s not like I watch less runescape content today. They also seem to think I’m a girl because whenever I do get something unique it’s always for purses, make up, fashion and hygiene products; all of which I have a below-zero chance of ever buying.


The main reason I never went for premium is that they basically do what the writers strike in Hollywood recently had to deal with: YT keeps pretty much all of the money from subscriptions and creators get almost nothing. Many saw huge drops in revenue after the program went live.

To show just how exploitative their system is: subscribing to a channel (supporting them directly) still has you seeing ads. Even white supremacist “cracker is a slur” Twitch realized the importance of not playing advertisements on the channels you sub to.


What sucks is that my kitten sleeps on my desk and every single time one of their ear-blasting ads comes on he flicks his ears in discomfort. It’s not even that the ads themselves are loud (they are, very very loud) it’s that every syllable and sound effect has the Attack turned up to 11. Sometimes i’ll be in the other room it will sneak an ad on me and all i’ll hear is TKnn TKmm TKTKmm TKTKTKmm mm TKTK mm mm



A little context, one of the larger exit nodes was compromised and would send malware to your computer. The behavior shield probably caught this and correctly marked the program as a trojan, since, by definition, that’s literally what it was acting as when connected to that node. More advanced AVs (like malwarebytes) will instead block the malicious connection rather than blanket-banning the entire program.


If people suddenly collectively understood they’re paying for basically nothing it would probably spur large-scale revolution.


Reminds me of that time the technodork ran his minecraft reactor with opencomputers and lost his base because the computer blue screened. Almost as funny as that time the entire city lit up because they were using raw radio signals to control their reactor and a nearby thunderstrike instructed the reactor to drop all the fuel and go supercritical. This is why you add realism to video games, it leads to hilarious stuff like this.

EDIT: That was actually the same server where they sabotaged the entire electrical grid to blow up everyone’s base as a send-off and mine was the only one standing at the end because I was the only one who bothered to set up a surge protector under OHSA (Omega Haxors? Safety!? AHAHAHAH!) it just so happened that the system designed to save the grid from my many exploits just so happened to work in reverse.


It is, because corporate greenwashing will tell you that they reduced their emissions when all they did was scale up production using green energy. Their actual emissions didn’t go down they just went down relative to their growth.



Theoretically it can, but it would involve meticulous and proper labeling of each training data.

OK so throw more Kenyans at it. Got it!


That’s because you told it to. Don’t make it recreate existing art then.

If you took a random concept and explained it to a person they could using their existing knowledge set, draw it somewhat competently. That is because people are able to apply knowledge to make something new. If you told someone to recreate something that already exists, even if they’re a professional, would never be able to recreate it no matter how much time and effort the put into it. AI can do the latter because it’s basically copying, and it can’t do the former because there’s nothing to copy from.


Because it literally is. If you knew the exact terms to get the the AI to recreate something in its training data, it could, 1:1. And if you ask it to create you something new, no matter what parameters you use it will look like a mess of garbage data. Generative AI is literally just art laundering just like how Language Models are writing laundering. We tend to use humanizing language but ultimately it’s a machine which uses a bunch of dials and levers to determine how much % a work should resemble one piece in its training at a particular point of the work and how much it should resemble another in another. There’s a reason why a lot of modern image bots have literal fucking watermarks all over their outputs. Because the images were flat out stolen.

The tech itself is pretty neat, you’re essentially making a virtual brain and having it do useful work, but ultimately all the capitalists running these tools see it as is another method to bring the public under their exclusive and totalitarian control. We could have had a cool roboartist putting out new and unique works but instead we get people losing their job because an inept system hyped up by silicon valley fart huffers claimed it could do their work for free and it only gets worse as these AIs use their own garbage outputs as training data.


I’m genuinely floored this is the comment you were replying to. What does that even mean??!


Alright, enjoy then. No amount of denial is going to stop you from crying yourself to sleep.