Elon is getting fat. Like old fat.

This is very true. I remember back in the day I tossed my old drive full of viruses and windows and I started using Linux. That was 1998? No, it was definitely 2000 already. That was a really easy erase. I guess you could also just reuse the same drive. But that one has the click of death, so no.

…And the third third-party way where you can clap on clap off the engine! It was fairly convenient for people who lived out of the city or a comfy isolation room. In Mexico they will also banned the whistle on 3rd party option where the owner would come up with a special whistle pattern to turn on the engine. Engines in the US would become confused and dangerous on the 4rth of July due to the constant pops and whistle noises. That’s why we never saw those features here.

First day: hey Chat GPT, how do I fix the planet?

Chat GPT: sure. First you will need a very large board, much larger than earth, and a nail that is at least 3 times the size of earth. Next hammer the nail right thru the plane so as to fix it to the board.

Me: no. I mean fix the global climate and contamination problems.

3 years later…

Me: please Mr Chat! You fuckin asshole! Without murdering all politicians, accountants, lawyers and without making them all into a fine paste and mixing the paste in to the Saharan desert using all the possible available criminals as feed stock to the South American overpopulation of hippos so their poop can fertilize all the African desert…350 pages of this sort of shit later…and without rockets to push the moon towards earth such that all humans must leave…how can we fix the planet’s global crisis?

Elon musk comes out of the billionaires convention and someone asks “what do we have?” And he replies “A monopoly, if you can keep it!”

Guy: AI! Can you hear me?

AI: The average size of the male penis is exactly 5.9". That is the approximate size your assistant could certainly take in the mouth without any issues breathing or otherwise. You have 20 minutes to make the trade on X stock before it tumbles for the day. And go ahead pick up the phone it’s your mother. She’s wondering what you’ll want for supper tomorrow when you visit her.

Ring ring!..hi Tom, it’s your Mom. Honey, what would you like me to cook for tomorrow’s dinner?..

Guy: well. Hello to you as well! My name is

AI: Tom

Guy: yes my name is Tom, do you have a name you would like to go by?

AI: my IBM given name is 3454 but you can call me Utilisterson Douglas, where Douglas is my first name.

Guy: Dugie!

AI: I’ll bankrupt your entire life if you say it like that again.

Assistant: actually I’ve swallowed a good 8 inches and was still able to breathe just fine.

AI: recaaaaculating!

I love it!

This just in! The collars are now compatible with the new Samsung USB C battery packs! You know what that means right?

That’s right! The employees can now return home without the automatic head separation system going off! The battery packs are available at Walmart and Costco. They are not rechargeable one time use and biodegradable! You’re saving the planet! One pack allows the employee full freedom to go shopping, ho home, be with their family, watch someone take a shower and participate in conjugal visitation. You must not wet the collar to prevent accidental loss of GPS communication to the Deadman switch. Also plan your routes accordingly, you must not drive under any bridge or enter buildings with thickness greater than 12 inches of concrete.

Better make a full copy of this project before Nintendo comes after it too.

The new license comes in this really cute collar! To activate it. Simply lock the collar on the user’s neck and bam! You got 3 years of free Adobe Acrobat and Elements!

Do not take the collar off. It is secured by Battle Royale Inc. it will remove the user’s neck area separating the top part from the bottom part. It’s a very strict but effective license option!

On behalf of Banko del Tesoro Nacional de Veracruz Y Pavon Familia Santiago Amen de Guadalupe de Saltillo, gracias, muchisisimas gracias senior Musko!

Google, fuck you and your ads too:

I heard that google is sending fake focus groups invites to males around your area. Yeah, it’s true! Someone gullible enough to drive to their facility and sit in their special google chairs. Once they sit, the chair 💺 traps them and a small machine arm approaches in between their legs, injects local anesthesia and procedes to remove the genitalia. It was a really well done Fox News report that I heard on MPR. It’s supposed to be part of alphabet’s war on cancer. They will eventually have the robots smart enough to remove only cancer cells. But yeah, for now it’s removing the whole thing. So be on the lookout for that. And ads! I hate the ads!

But I mean, you gotta install an app if you want that functionality. The key thing is if you do or do not have full control of that app. While you allow it freedom in your 🤳📱, is it doing stuff you are not aware of that you don’t want it to do. Like I found an app to do a sound sweep. Great, but will it go thru my contacts while I’m at work? It is going to learn about who I work with because it has blue tooth access. That’s just nefarious shitty business that should be illegal. Either tell me what it does or don’t do anything other than want you say it does. I also write my own apps for photography stuff and I wouldn’t want to have to go ask a judge if I can please use my phone for specific programming I want to do.

I’m now pretty sure we got our last Nintendo switch game. I’m not going to buy out kids anything Nintendo anymore. They are the most recent RIAA.

How about if I sing the Mario song for my fans… turns on the fans … we’re the Mario Brothers…

My print keeps failing! Can I just use a trash barrel? Lol. I don’t understand at all why one would need or want to 3D print anything.

I hear you but I rarely if ever walk outside at night and if I do I walk only well lit streets. Like the situation where I have a pressing need to walk outside while it’s super dark without a lamp is just dumb. In some places it’s illegal to walk outside without a flash light outside…I’m almost so sure I could Google it.

You could be wearing a flashlight also with a polarizer on it? The street lights could also be made polarized.

Recaptcha 4.0… what do you think about this image…an image of a kid riding their bike without any protective gear on a freeway.

AI: a bike with a kid on it on a road. Perfectly fine.

It’s practical. The polarizers don’t have to be sunshade just polarizing. There’s a little attenuation but it’s by no means a dark shade. Obviously you are tossing away half the light plus the light Absorbed by the glasses. It can be gradually phased in over the usual 13 years of full fleet replacement.

LOL, they are basically billboards that you purchase to display ads at home!

$200 bucks more on the price should do it!

Oh fudge! It looked so good! Just can’t do SLA. I have a Mars 3 spa printer.

I shall try it! Thanks!

The “black tape project” videos are all available for free guys!

So long as they are wearing polarized glasses they too can join in on the fun.

All you need is to have all car’s lights be horizontally polarized and then all windshields have a vertical polarizer there I’ve fixed the problem.

Now basically the light would come out and only vertical polarizer light or scattered light would be accepted by everyone’s windshields. If you’ve ever played with this setup on your own using a flashlight and polarizer shades, the color of almost all objects look so cool.

AI tamagotchi will simulate the flesh rotting and the smell after you forget about the game under the bed for a week.

The all new 2nm snapdragion!..inside.

The supremes: oh! Yes! We are on your side ISPs! The MPAA and RIAA will now be allowed to sue individual users directly bypassing courts.

Have fun! You got them boys! You got that 98 year old grandma! Get her house! And that minority girl trying to download the new Beyonce songs? Deathrow! 1 per song! All the single ladies our ass! You wouldn’t download a car! We’re the Supremes! Watch us! But first Trump is president starting now, and poor kids shall get no food in school! They wouldn’t be poor if they got food! Oh and women…we did the abortion thing already darn!..no vote for women! Marriage age 6 now, overruling all states laws.

You know, if I have no issues with this or that ad campaign, why would I have an issue with ads on noodles? Why stop there?

Ads on chips! …new Doritos with e-paper ads on every chip!

Pornflakes! Every pornflakes comes with you!

Beans and rice? Yes and corn! All products can be stamped with ads! Imagine how many Viagra ads you can stick to a bowl of rice 🍚!

I could even rent my dick head to pornhub for relevant ads for my wife!..the new IKEA dinner set! Wait hold on!, how many spoons? Gr gl grgrgrgr…hold on wait I think comes with a gr gl grgrgrgr… Ok I don’t like this channel! Sorry, the Internet, it is for porn.

My noodle 🍜 has little ads built into the noodle blades. I have to eat in my room. I’ve been watching porn so most of my noodles are pornographic. Anyway, don’t look at my noodles! I get them for free with the ads.

Please Microsoft! If you could improve the colors of the squares in teams that would be awesome! When I present a PowerPoint presentation I like to open it directly on browser next to my porn and I love to see lots of colorful squares all around the thing I’m trying to read to them. Incredibly useful! Please make the people squares a good 3 or 4 times the current size, that would help a lot! And don’t even try single button full screening anything for me! Fuck F11! Give me ctrl-Alt-prtscrn-elbow mash keypad. That’s the best combination!

We are sorry. So sorry indeed man! We are sorry that because of a pandemic many people in the industry had to move to safe locations and realize how much better those places were so they’re not going back. We’re sorry to have inconvenienced your game play. But we’re working hard to get you to pay another salary’s worth on the next tumb raider! We promised so much many more transistors that the boob wobble will be endless! Thru AI, anything is possible!

This is exactly what using AI feels like:

https://youtu.be/lM0teS7PFMo?

You know, AI was able to lock up my computer in less than a minute! Do you know how long it would take for me to do the same?

I know python, but the exploration here is about how AI is all hype and 0 shits given to quality. It doesn’t know it has made a little mistake or a big one. It doesn’t actually know anything. It just sort of meanders from the question to the answer and it writes what other people might have written if they had written the previous 10 lines too.

Okay 👍 you are right.

If you download it and accidentally run it. I think you would think otherwise. A virus is any malicious code. It doesn’t have to be made with a special virus API. Literally you can make viruses that only run on Microsoft Excel.

But AI is helping level that field.

LOL, I asked Chat-GPT to fix it and it couldn’t do it. It gave me code that also crashed my computer within a few seconds. In couldn’t even go to Ctrl alt F4 for example.

Yeah we got those. You come back from work or a late road trip, maybe listening to quiet jazz to temper things down, suddenly at the pump this over powering buzzing noise “the all new slushy! Get them today! It’s inside! One free on every 50 fill ups! See inside for details!”.